Warning: anxiety detected.
My mood was off for several days — sad, stressed, frustrated — and then I noticed yesterday much the exact pattern I experienced early in 2018, which was part of the key to realizing what’s my deal anyway.
That is: A day of general frustration. Early in the afternoon at work, feeling like I need to get up, walk around and clear my head. Encountering a crowd of people on my way out of the building (I generally dislike crowds) and annoying clumps of loud people or smokers outside anyplace where I would have had some illusion of solitude. Feeling frustrated at that, and then realizing I can’t escape me anyway. Realizing that there’s not any particular thing bothering me, but anxiety.
So now that I’ve had that, I think that means I’m over the hump and can deal with it.
I feel like I might have lost my way on album 12 — whether it’s my mood, or the overall concept just isn’t really translating to music I don’t know. I’ve recorded a lot of stuff, some of it decent, but it doesn’t seem to be hanging together as a concept, nor consistently up to quality standards of my better albums.
What I’m going to do is this: don’t sweat it! Keep recording things. Put it together later — something is bound to emerge. I have no obligation to release anything, really. Enjoy the holidays, make whatever music comes out, and then just see what happens.
Just for fun, the track titles I have so far:
Spoopy
Tunneling
Comb Jellies
MRRSF (I don’t even remember what this stood for, but it has the alternate title of “SPLAIN!”)
Space Gecko
Dust Settles
Quercus
Press Here
1414
Prisma
Thyme Pilot