Warning: anxiety detected.
My mood was off for several days — sad, stressed, frustrated — and then I noticed yesterday much the exact pattern I experienced early in 2018, which was part of the key to realizing what’s my deal anyway.
That is: A day of general frustration. Early in the afternoon at work, feeling like I need to get up, walk around and clear my head. Encountering a crowd of people on my way out of the building (I generally dislike crowds) and annoying clumps of loud people or smokers outside anyplace where I would have had some illusion of solitude. Feeling frustrated at that, and then realizing I can’t escape me anyway. Realizing that there’s not any particular thing bothering me, but anxiety.
So now that I’ve had that, I think that means I’m over the hump and can deal with it.
I feel like I might have lost my way on album 12 — whether it’s my mood, or the overall concept just isn’t really translating to music I don’t know. I’ve recorded a lot of stuff, some of it decent, but it doesn’t seem to be hanging together as a concept, nor consistently up to quality standards of my better albums.
What I’m going to do is this: don’t sweat it! Keep recording things. Put it together later — something is bound to emerge. I have no obligation to release anything, really. Enjoy the holidays, make whatever music comes out, and then just see what happens.
Just for fun, the track titles I have so far:
MRRSF (I don’t even remember what this stood for, but it has the alternate title of “SPLAIN!”)