must this happen every year?

This is now three years in a row where, around the first weekend in July when the weather is plenty hot, we have a power failure that takes some time to resolve. Two strong waves of storms rolled through our area in the afternoon on July 4, the second one finally bringing relief from the heat wave we’ve been having but also knocking down a tree limb that took out our power. There were scattered outages all over, but this year it “only” took 17 hours to get service back, instead of multiple days. And the more reasonable temperatures made it fairly bearable.

Fireworks are theoretically illegal in our suburb, with dozens of signs along the streets threatening $1000 fines. I don’t think that gave anyone pause. And of course, we are surrounded by dozens of other suburbs, some of which have their own official fireworks as well as tens of thousands of amateurs eager to blow stuff up. The noise was sporadic through the afternoon (between storms), and absolutely continuous from about 7 PM to the wee hours. At times we could pretend it was just distant rolling thunder, but at other times it was obviously nearby Roman candles or big booming explodey fireworks. Between the noise, lack of air circulation, slightly too warm bedroom, and the cat that also having a bad night, we barely slept. And after that, somehow there were still enough fireworks left for it to happen again last night, though it finally tapered off at about 10 PM.

I know the current administration in general, and Chump’s hijacking and bungling of the 250th anniversary celebrations in particular, have made me even less inclined than usual toward patriotic feelings this year. But… ugh. Fireworks are very different when you’re watching or participating, vs. when you’re just trying to get some rest.


I recently finished Graham Robb’s The Discovery of Britain: An Accidental History. This book took me a while to get through — I would typically read one chapter and then find I had to stop. It’s because he pulls no punches about the horribleness of various politicians and policies — the racism, sexism, classism, greed, cronyism, corruption, lack of any sense of duty, callous disregard for other peoples’ lives and happiness. The lies and myths we are told about history. And most telling: examples of the terrible backward things said and done by some politician, only to reveal this wasn’t some medieval baron or Victorian official but a democratically elected MP five years ago. Mr. Robb, I’m afraid you aren’t doing anything to dispel the stereotype of Scots being bleak and grim.

He did also tie in the history with his own personal life — whether his travels, or childhood or family stories. It gives one the sense of being surrounded by history, swimming in it. As an American, I feel like most of us don’t have this feeling about where we live. We can’t point to a home we pass by on the way to work every day and say that so-and-so slept here 900 years ago on the run from persecution, or this “Roman” road actually dates to the Bronze Age. Not far from where I live, there was the thriving major city of Cahokia, before Columbus or Cortez or the Mayflower… but it’s so easy to forget, I know very little about it, and still haven’t visited. There’s the old capital in St. Charles with a few 18th century buildings. But everyday life just doesn’t feel immersed in history that goes back more than a couple of generations.

When I finished with that book, I moved on to Autumnal Conductor. From the descriptions I’d seen I thought I’d enjoy it, but unfortunately it comes across as needing a lot more work. In the first few pages, there were a few words that are simply used incorrectly, quite a bit of thesaurus abuse, and a few phrases that just didn’t make sense even during an action scene when things should be very clear. The use of language didn’t embellish the story, it obscured it.

My current read is Free Play: Improvisation in Life and Art by Stephen Nachmanovitch. It’s preaching to the choir, but some of his thoughts about improvisation and the way he expresses them are inspiring and might lead to thinking a bit differently overall. It certainly applies to modular synthesis:

There is a German word, funktionslust, which means the pleasure of doing, of producing an effect, as distinct from the pleasure of attaining the effect or having something.

I’ve noticed before that sometimes there can be a clear, simple, almost childlike joy in turning a knob and hearing a new sound. It’s something about the feeling of control, of “producing an effect” as this says. I can’t explain why something so simple feels so good; there’s no particular mastery of a difficult or especially deft physical movement as there is in, say, violin or dance or a sport. But it’s very visceral. Of course it’s not just synths that are like this; some other experiences are also like this. I do think it explains part of the gap in feeling/inspiration between software and hardware synthesis though.

Nachmanovitch quite appropriately keeps referring to play, to the freedom of just doing things unscripted and spontaneously for the fun of it. He draws a distinction between play and performance, between play and games. It’s not about proving anything, or even saying anything even though it is expressive.

behind me

My therapist has discharged me, because I’m keeping anxiety at bay and don’t need therapy anymore. As I’ve said, I didn’t have any major trauma to work through, no big issues that I feel like I need to hash out. While I feel like the majority of the improvement came because of the meds, she did give me some helpful guidance and direction, and was generally a kind, engaged listener while I was still having some difficulty. She says I’m welcome to make an appointment with her again in the future if I feel like I need to.

I never really did talk about gender identity stuff much with her. It was sort of peripheral to other things. It’s not the source or a trigger of my anxiety, and it’s not something I feel like I need help figuring out at this point. Yes, things like Rubio delaying and vandalizing my passport card, and being indirectly accused of “nihilistic violent extremism” (along with Teen Vogue, the Girl Scouts, several churches and teachers’ associations and medical associations) got to me. But shit like that would bother me anyway simply because I am a decent human being.


Also behind me: my yearly performance review. It went very well as always, but in previous years it’s always been something I found myself worrying about. This year, I didn’t notice any particular stress leading up to it, but it still felt good to get it done. I was amused and gratified to find out that my supervisor was in the mood to spill a little tea, and he doesn’t really like the format we’re using either. It’s probably better suited to a larger company with more turnover. But we make it work. Now I’m just hoping for a nice raise.


Bandcamp might be in trouble. I haven’t seen this reported anywhere else yet, but the source does seem trustworthy. Laying off a majority of the engineers — after the 50% layoffs Songtradr already did when they completed their acquisition in 2023 — does not bode well at all.

That said, the “RIP Bandcamp” thread at KVR is now 4 years and two acquisitions old, so maybe it’ll make it through this too. Maybe they’re preparing to sell it off to someone else, and maybe that someone else will be better (I won’t hold my breath) but I’m not going to assume it’s all going to go away and start the hunt for an alternative. Still, if you have bought music there, it might be a good idea to make sure to download it just in case.

looking back

Saturday night, we went to the 40th anniversary performance of St. Louis Osuwa Taiko. One of the last shows I was in myself was on the 25th anniversary. Some of the folks I knew from back in the day are still playing, and better than ever even as their bodies show their age a bit more. Some of the fiendishly difficult parts still trip people up a little bit (and I recognize the familiar “yeah we blew that again, what can you do?” grin) but overall things are pretty tight, and more importantly, exciting and fun.

A handful of pictures… keeping in mind I was enjoying the moment so much I often forgot to take them, was less than half paying attention to my photography when I did, and didn’t have the best angle for a good wide shot that captured the whole stage in the bigger pieces.

In almost every performance, they take a couple of moments to mention the beginner classes and community group (which can, but doesn’t have to be, a path to joining the performing group). Each time, I think about maybe doing that — it’s a much smaller commitment of time and energy than the 10 hours of rehearsals per week plus personal practice time and exercise, and sometimes multiple shows per month (and travel/setup/recovery). As satisfying as it can be to take a big stick and whack a bigger drum, and to play in a group, for me it still doesn’t beat the experience of making my own music from start to finish.


Speaking of anniversaries, today is our 22nd wedding anniversary. We didn’t really plan much in advance, but between Father’s Day lunch with my parents and the taiko show, going out tonight, and planning to make a couple of fun dinners later in the week including a Caribbean mini-feast, I think we’ve got celebration covered.


And more looking back: I re-listened to some of my older Starthief albums, and my opinion right now is that Materials is the oldest that I would recommend to listeners. There’s some okay bits on the earlier albums, but it sounds like a transition period to me — it lacked confidence and sometimes direction… or was frankly just a little dull.

Conversely, there’s some nice material from my pre-modular era which I find worthy, and generally representative of my current aesthetics. Once I’ve released Zeroes, my next project might be to remaster the best of the old stuff and re-release it. I may even include a very few of my 2016-2017 experiments previously only shared on my website or YouTube, or rarer stuff.


I did end up converting my Reaper in GW2 to a Ritualist, and… whoa. Definitely another Easy Mode build once you get the hang of it. With excellent damage output, a Flesh Golem tanking for you, and the ability to stay in Shroud (protecting you from actual damage) nearly forever as long as you’re not taking lots of big hits, you can just stand still and melt most Champions without breaking a sweat. And when you find something that can crush you in two hits, you still have a bit of a buffer for survival and escape.

It’s nice to have multiple, valid, solid, and not-too-difficult playstyles available that all feel very different, but can still scare or challenge you every once in a while.

more than zero

Weird dream last night where I had been recruited/pressed into service for some kind of ultra-wealthy, intimidating, but smooth-talking genius crime boss. On my first day on the job, he had a scheme to resurrect Thanos, for which some other wealthy villain was willing to pay an exorbitant fee. It all sounds like a bad idea, right? I was supposed to be there during the negotiation and actually perform the resurrection, which involved dumping some chemicals into the complicated “bucket” that held the remains as well as adding my own magical touch… and also pointing a very nasty sci-fi-ish Gatling gun at the subject in case he tried anything funny on waking up. But most of the dream was about protocol — who stands where, how to address various people, etc. so as not to offend anyone or make them nervous.

Okay.


Four tracks, 30 minutes Five tracks, 38 minutes recorded so far for Zeroes. Once again, I find that a distinct feel and style have spontaneously emerged for it, and everything sounds like it belongs together, without a conscious design behind it.

I don’t want to say my conscious mind isn’t involved — of course it is. I don’t want to say the music comes entirely through me rather than from me, or that it was “always there” and I’m just revealing or discovering it, or that there is no intent. But there is a fair amount of letting things happen, and running with them.

There’s a style of modular patching where one builds the patch and lets it play itself. Some people spend months on a single patch. This is generative music, but what fundamentally separates it from generative AI is that this entirely takes place as a combination of simple motions (and sometimes sources of randomness or sensors for outside phenomena), with feedback and logical combinations, unsynchronized signals coming into and out of convergence, etc. creating complex results. Notes, rhythm, melody, variations in timbre and density, all emerge in a very natural way. Gen AI, on the other hand, takes massive data sets which other people created, boils them down to statistical matrices and creates sort of an “average” of what should be next to this pixel in a picture of “a “banker eating a hoagie while riding a motorcycle” or whatever the prompt is. (And inevitably the banker is a white guy within a particular age range, dressed a particular way.) And the more generations that happen, the more average it gets.

Anyway, I don’t do that. My patches last hours, or less. But there is certainly an aspect of things happening spontaneously by coincidence of their arrangement — and then I play off of it. I react to it with tuning and rhythm and timbre and articulation choices, with live improvisation and new layers of complementary sound. I don’t use random sources very much unless they’re tightly controlled and limited in scope, but those accidental convergences are part of the process. Usually a delight, and occasionally a challenge or nuisance as feedback blows up or the levels clip/distort more than want. But “repairing” those moments, or finding ways to work with them, brings its own inspiration too.

In terms of gear stuff: I have to admit that GTE, Nibbler and CVilization are not getting a lot of play. The gap between knowing I can do certain things with a module, and actually doing them in practice, is real.

So, if Budapeszt does release this year, while I’ll still primarily be looking at setting aside Rings and Katowice to make the space, I may experiment with Rings and Budapeszt together. And for 2027, there’s potential to replace up to 36 HP. I have some thoughts but let’s see what becomes available. We’re not quite 50% of the way through 2026 yet!


Since GW2 is running Dragon Bash early and had a sale on its expansions as part of its celebration of the GW3 announcement, I went for the Visions of Eternity expansion and started a fire Evoker. While she’s a lot more squishy than my Mechanist, it’s a very damage-heavy, effective build… most of the time. You’d think using 100% fire-based attacks would be a disadvantage against fire elementals, Destroyers, Forged etc. but there’s so much direct damage that the Burning effect is fairly minimal. Instead, it’s the centaurs that attack Nebo Terrace which she doesn’t deal with nearly as effectively as some of my other characters.

I might also play with switching my Reaper to Ritualist; the open world build at Metabattle uses the same gear, so it’s just a matter of gathering enough hero points if I haven’t yet. I’m really not that excited about launching into a new story though, to be honest. As I’ve said before they’re kind of a mess and it’s the gameplay the I like. (And the Fashion Wars. Unlocking outfits, armor skins, weapon skins, fancy special effects and fun gizmos honestly drives a lot of the rest of gameplay…)

from zero

Z being the only letter left that I don’t have an album for, allow me to announce Zeroes.

Zero isn’t a bad thing. It’s a starting point, it’s potential. Everything comes from zero and returns to zero.

In ancient Egypt, they had glyphs for different powers of 10, and you’d write them in groups much like Roman numerals. So zero didn’t serve as a part of positional notation. But they had the concept of zero as a quantity (as they used it in double-entry bookkeeping), to represent ground level in architectural plans, and in geometry. To write zero, they used the “nefer” glyph — which is also the word for beautiful or good. Balanced accounts was akin to the balance of the universe. And ground level, where things rest, is the place of most balance.

In electronic music, zero is silence. Sound waves wobble positively and negatively, crossing over zero and (if all is well and there’s no DC offset) averaging to zero. As long as the fundamental is stronger than other harmonics, counting the number of zero crossings per second and dividing by two gives you the frequency in Hz. Thru-zero is an important concept in frequency modulation, and some other types of modulation.

In fact I thought about running with an FM theme here, or other things geekily related to zero (such as ring modulation) but decided that I already do that a lot and I’d rather leave my technical options open and just make music with my heart.

I have one track recorded, having found some inspiration in exploring sound, plus a start on a second one.


I have that feeling like change is in the wind — change for the better. Maybe it’s the particular bubble I’m in cycling around to general optimism, what with Chump’s attempted birthday party which was giving Fyre Festival vibes getting cancelled, obvious frustration over not being able to weasel his way out of the Iran mess he made, losing his name on the Kennedy Center, fear of the midterm elections, etc. And maybe some of that is down to a couple of small shifts in my personal thinking, changes at work, etc. Maybe it’s just the arrival of Pride. But a little hope isn’t a bad thing.


Guild Wars 3 was just officially announced. Beta testing to begin next year. Set 1000 years before Guild Wars 1, when Orr was a new frontier (rather than a sunken disaster city that got raised back up full of zombies). So, this might be shortly after the Six Gods (with Abaddon and Dhuum rather than Kormir and Grenth) brought humanity to Tyria through the Mists as refugees from something terrible, and built the city of Arah. Which means the Elder Dragons would all be slumbering and are not a factor.

No Sylvari (their entire race is only about 20 years old at the start of the GW2 timeline, but they emerge from the Pale Tree as conscious beings in an “adult” form rather than children). Likely no Asuran tech, and that whole race is likely living peacefully underground and aren’t a player race. Likely no Charr. Maybe Norn? Dwarves would definitely have been around at that time. There’s definitely a Kodan in the video.

There’s magic granted by companion spirits who also serve as mounts, and also travel powers than involve running up cliffs with glowing hands and feet… so maybe this will be a game without the invisible walls of older GW2 zones? Here’s hoping!

They have committed to continue development and support on GW2, and in fact since they just re-released the original Guild Wars in a new and updated version, I can believe they’ll stand by it if at all possible.

more reasons to oppose the AI bubble

The state of Utah apparently approved plans for a giant data — twice the size of Manhattan, requiring 9 GW of energy (more than the entire state of Utah and its 3.5 million residents use currently) and requiring massive quantities of water in a draught-stricken area. Studies say that the local daytime temperature may rise 2-5 degrees Fahrenheit and the nighttime temperature by 8-12. And even without this data center, Great Salt Lake is already at risk of drying out and releasing toxic dust clouds carrying arsenic, mercury and lead into Salt Lake City.

Less dire than that, but still kind of shocking: the price of Valve’s OLED Steam Deck just shot up by 45% entirely due to RAM shortages caused by the AI industry.

I wasn’t in the market for a Steam Deck, but I was looking for an external backup drive, instead of using a not particularly reliable cloud backup service who’s in the process of awkwardly changing its billing. (I discovered, after finishing my album, that none of my 2026 work got backed up because I hadn’t configured it to — but I had to be choosy about what to back up because my storage is limited.) I went with a WD_BLACK spinning platter hard drive because they’re so much cheaper than SSDs at this point…

The price of a 1TB SATA SSD went from $100 to $275 since November 2025. For a nice NVME 4TB SSD, it went from $325 to $825. Fast DDR RAM just about quadrupled. The price of spinning hard drives also went up significantly, but not as steeply — these also have some RAM for caching purposes, and are probably also used in these AI data centers, and demand has probably gone up just because SSDs are so expensive.

Meanwhile, over this same period the price of CPUs, and even GPUs, have remained fairly steady, for the moment.

The “Stochastic Parrot” paper, published in 2020, predicted 5 kinds of failure that would be caused by AI. One of its authors was fired by Google for refusing to take her name off the paper, but every prediction has come true:

  • systems that mimic fluency but have zero comprehension of language or fact are by design incapable of being reliable — and yet fool users and developers into trusting them.
  • a training process that assigns higher confidence to more frequent phrases is one that amplifies existing biases and inequalities — with the result that systems based on these tools discriminate against women and minorities more than an average human while people assume they are impartial. (And indeed, it was found that when a man and a woman submit the exact same financial application, the man is granted a 10x higher credit limit; the appearance of the word “women” anywhere in an Amazon job application reduces the score assigned to that application.)
  • this same amplification effect works on a cultural level. Less common languages and viewpoints in the training data tend to be filtered out as part of a feedback loop when AI-generated output is used to train AI. Automatic translation of less common languages has demonstrably gotten worse over time. (We also see and feel this homogeneity in AI-generated “art.”)
  • the energy cost of training an LLM on a massive data set is large, and this gets far worse with scale.
  • massive data sets too large for human review inevitably contain objectionable material, defamatory and dangerous disinformation, child SA, etc. and this iworks its way into the output.

All of this so that people can ask ChatGPT questions they could have used a regular search engine for, make fake photos, put artists and customer service workers out of a job, and get extremely bad medical advice.

We live in the dumbest timeline.

With that, I wanted to point out that DuckDuckGo Search has a no-AI version: https://noai.duckduckgo.com/

(Yes, I was going to try Kagi, but that 100 free searches has me leaving it as a secondary option rather than a primary search option, so far. The Brave browser on Android, I’ve found much faster than Chrome… but its search engine is not so hot. And unfortunately you can’t add custom search URLs to the mobile Brave.)

what do you mean, an African or a European sparrow?

The “J album” now has all its recording done, a name, an album cover (hush, Sean Connery), and is partially mastered. That process has been a little tricky and slow on a couple of tracks so far, but it’s moving along.

I’ve decided that, when Budapeszt is released, I’m going for it. I’ll plan to set aside Rings and Katowice — however, depending on how it goes I might want to at least try Budapeszt and Rings working together.

As a sort of apology to my no-gear pledge, I’ll forgo any new software synth this year.


I’ve decided I’m annoyed enough with Big Tech in general and Google specifically — now they are planning to completely replace their search with an AI-based mess — so I’ve decided to move away from their services a bit more. I’ve heard good things about GrapheneOS but am not quite ready to step away from Android yet. YouTube isn’t really something I want to give up either. But search, browser, calendar, notes, email, and maps? Those all have more or less decent replacements.

The email change is the most work, because I’ve been giving that email address out like candy for both important and trivial things. But having GMail forward to my new email makes the transition not terribly painful nor something I have to fix immediately. And now I have multiple email addresses, with their own folders, on my own domain, on a single login. Nice.

For Maps, Here WeGo isn’t as refined as Google’s offering, but it’s functional enough (and in some ways the interface is a bit nicer), and private.

For mobile browsers, I don’t remember now why I switched back to Chrome — it may have been DDG trying to promote AI crap at me — but I’ll have another go at other options.

As for search… I am going to give Kagi a try. StartPage and DuckDuckGo are less of a mess than Google Search has become, but they’re still honestly not great. Every review of Kagi I’ve read has been like “this is the best subscription to anything that I have.” So… yeah.

blown away

Xaoc Budapeszt: I’m waiting on a demo of this, and will update once I’ve heard it.

My impressions while watching this were something like this: it sounds neat… no, that’s just over the top… oh nice!… yuck… oooh… cool… meh… oh wait OMFG OMFG YES!!!

For a long time now I’ve hoped some enterprising synth designer would take the source code for Mutable Instruments Rings, and do something more with it instead of just cloning the module as is or implementing it in a plugin or whatever. The big thing I wanted was more variety of / control over structures.

While I doubt Xaoc used Emilie’s code, this takes the same core concept — bandpass/comb filters as resonators — and runs with it in a different direction. Less prescriptive, but more variety. There’s a taste of 4ms Spectral Multiband Resonator and Smoothie Audio Smear in there as well. And it’s true stereo and also dual, with the two filter(bank)s interacting in feedback. And… it’s glorious!

It’s still in the prototype stage, with an expected release somewhere in the autumn. And I have my No New Gear Year pledge, and I’m thinking about that. I know for sure I’m going to want this module and will get it anyway, so how much sense does it make to wait until January 1, 2027 just for the sake of that pledge?

Because this is pretty much a must-have module for me, if anything is. I’m getting the excitement about it I did for Rings originally, but with much more modular experience on my side I have even bigger expectations and plans.

I’m comfortable with swapping out Rings for Budapeszt, but Budapeszt is 6HP larger so I’ll need to figure something else out. Katowice might be an appropriate choice, as it’s the one I said I’d allow myself to sell to make room for stuff — the things I do with it can be done by plugins.

Alternately, there’s Castle. I know, every time I contemplate letting it go, I patch it up and say “no, I have to keep it.” To be honest though, I have a lot of FM stuff, and don’t strictly need this specific flavor. That opens a lot of space for other things. But I’d want to be slow to fill that space.

Or there’s Nibbler, fun but not really a frequent flyer. GTE — I know I just got it and haven’t even explored it all that much, but it’s unlikely to ever really be an essential. Perhaps one might say I should have held off on it and made Budapeszt my new module for 2026.

For that matter… I want to put some thought into combining “get Budapeszt” with “shrink my rig.” I could clear out enough space to let go of the Pod60, and also bid adieu to the Elmyra and other small desktop thingies — keeping the main case, Minibrute/Strega pair, and the four pedals. The problem with this is that introduces the temptation to fill the Pod again, or to put something else in the newly available space.

Of course, these opinions are colored by the droney approach I’ve been taking with this album — there’s been even more minimal use of sequencing than my usual. I’ve been loving that process. I just don’t want to commit to all future releases being similar.

I will have at least several months to make any decisions, anyway. But that’s what’s on my mind now.


I have 61 minutes of music for this album recorded but I’m not quite done — I think there’s going to be one more track. And then on to the “Z” album, which I have some thought toward already…

I just saw this image posted on Lines, and… yes, that describes me and my music to a T.