Twice now I’ve written up posts with mini-reviews and how I feel about the various clothes I’m trying. But it seemed like a weird turn for a blog that’s been mostly about music stuff. I’ll try to keep it brief (even though I didn’t buy any briefs):
- My spouse suggested I try no-pierce earrings to see what I thought. That was never something I really considered before… but I tried some magnetic ones and kinda like them. I’m willing to try more and maybe get my ears pierced.
- All the shoes are good. The black/white Chuck hi-tops are classic; the black/purple/yellow CX EXP2 chucks are super comfy and 3/4 of a nonbinary pride flag. The Thursday Harness boots are a little dressy but I could wear them to work with black jeans, no problem. And I kind of love the Chuck 70 De Luxe heeled leather boots, the wildest thing I have — too rock-and-roll for the office or to go visit my parents, but I don’t feel too self-conscious in them. This is quite the confidence boost.
(Do NOT listen to Converse’s advice to size down 1/2 size, I didn’t. I do wish both the hi-tops were a little wider, but every time I put on the CXs I think “these are too narrow” for about 2 minutes and then “these are amazing” when I walk in them. And I have some stretchy laces on the way to make them easier to put on, especially the boots.) - My “oversized” hoodie isn’t, but fits fine. The various tank tops range from amazingly comfy and perfect (tomboyx modal muscle tank) to too snug, to too low in the neck (but can be worn backwards since I’m layering it anyway). Clothes shopping online without being able to try stuff on is a bit of a challenge, but I feel lucky not to have wound up with anything that needed to be returned. Certainly the selection, ability to compare and find deals, and not feel self-conscious browsing every part of the store for inspiration are an advantage. (For contrast: Kohl’s used to have a formidable big & tall section with a ton of jeans and button-up shirts, and now it’s literally only sweatpants because they put a Sephora in that store and needed room.)
There are some nonbinary fashionistas… no, fashion captains… really rocking a genderful mix-and-match look, or fluidly and nearly flawlessly moving between masculine and feminine and stopping wherever they want on the way. And then there’s neutral androgyny, which is closer to what I’m aiming at but not really specifically my goal, either. My main thought is that I neither want to be too overt, nor covert. Just… true.
Wearing a men’s button-up shirt with men’s blue jeans and men’s Crocs is… okay I guess. It doesn’t give me dysphoric vibes, but sometimes does feel like I’m disguising myself as a man, taking the coward’s way out. If I wear that exact same shirt half-buttoned or unbuttoned over a t-shirt or tank-top, suddenly it’s right. Switching to (men’s) black jeans, cooler (men’s/unisex) shoes, maybe some (men’s/unisex) jewelry and maybe my (men’s) hat all help a bit more. None of that has much to do with gender — but as those fabulous captains say, no piece of clothing has a gender.
That was me being brief. Huh.
Okay, year in review. Stuff that happened:
- I thought I was going to get heavily into Legos. Instead I have a bunch of Legos in nice organizer cases taking up space.
- My parents moved to the St. Louis area and we’ve been visiting them a lot more. Taking them out to eat, going on Trader Joe’s runs, etc.
- At work we FINALLY released our long-awaited new version, after the Air Force’s cybersecurity certification dragged on for months and I had to personally straighten out compatibility problems between third-party libraries.
- I did more walking around Mallard Lake than in previous years. (This is a combination of weather-dependent and personal energy level.)
- We saw the total eclipse in Perryville, MO. Utterly awe-inspiring, everyone with a heart should get to see one at least once in their lives.
- We’ve had more deer in our yard this year than ever.
- We finally got to go on a “real” vacation, for our 20th honeymoon. We loved Gatlinburg, we really enjoyed Myrtle Beach but we got sick.
- She kind of accidentally got me into Heilung, and I quickly went nuts for them. I am not particularly a Norse culture buff but it’s interesting. I read the translations, and in some of the music I really felt like I was hearing the expression of the kind of love that flows both ways between people and gods, and also the goodwill of good people toward humankind in general. And that led to the urge to get back into some of my religious practices, and that led to rejoining the church where we had first met.
- And that, plus a backlash against increasingly transphobic politics, led to my feeling more my nonbinary self and wanting to express it to be more true to myself, and thus this style reboot.
- I released 6 albums, and I did studies in Unfiltered Audio SpecOps, a wide range of effects plugins, ALM Akemie’s Castle, Xaoc Drezno, and Rossum Morpheus.
- I raged and cried a lot about politics and have come to this: I refuse to let it ruin my emotional life. I refuse to obey in advance. I won’t try to be the kind of fighter that I am not, but I can donate money to the right causes.
- I started to really hate on AI.
- I read up about ADHD and VAST, and yeah… it me. Knowing that is enough for me, I don’t really need an official diagnosis or treatment.
- Everything Everywhere All At Once. Cicadas. DuoLingo.
And now for the musical gear part. Just the highlights:
I actually spent 4 months without changing anything in my Eurorack setup. I kind of plan to do that again in 2025, probably for longer than that, but I am not going to bother making that an official pledge or anything.
- Auza Wave Packets, for taking a relatively vanilla oscillator but elevating it with phrasing/gesture possibilities I wouldn’t otherwise have landed on.
- Noise Engineering Alia, giving me access to the NE oscillators that I like but don’t necessarily want to always keep. And then kind of a rug pull because I love the new Toros Iteritas Alia so much, I won’t want to switch the firmware. 🙂
- RYK Algo replaced my beloved Shapeshifter, and it’s more on target for what I was using Shapeshifter for. All hail FM synthesis! This means I have no more “complex oscillators” in the classic sense. This is fine.
- I had a run with Rossum Morpheus, ultimately deciding it wasn’t for me. But I returned to Make Noise QPAS, this time allowing it to shine at the things it does best, and loving it.
- I let go of my Monome Teletype. It served me well for years, but I found myself using Bitwig Grid or VCV Rack to cover basically everything it was doing for me.
- Neutral Labs Elmyra 2 is pretty great, making my kind of noise and being fun to play. It’s almost up there with the Strega/Minibrute combo.
- Decadebridge Sn is a fun little FM drone synth. Probably a little redundant (especially with Toros now) but it’s an inspiring toy for sure.
- Dawesome MYTH is practically a modular environment on its own and deserves much deeper exploration than I’ve given it so far.
- Madrona Sumu landed at about the same time. It’s mostly found a role as an occasional drone synth for me, but that might be greatly expanded once it finally gets MPE support.
- I went for Arturia V Collection finally, thanks to a stacked discount. This gives me a crapton more software synths to play with. I tried most of them and have a few installed.
- In the effects world there were a few fun ones, but what stands out is Toneboosters Equalizer Pro. The “ambience” setting especially makes it not just an equalizer, and the dynamics work better for me than any other tools I’ve tried. So I’m doing all kinds of tone shaping with it.
- I got the three Nektar expression pedals and MIDI Expression Quatro to convert them to USB Midi, and that has been wonderful.
- I also switched from Roli Seaboard to a Linnstrument 128 and have found my bliss.