2025? Already?

I did manage to snag a Whimsical Raps Silhouette in the first minute of its becoming available (and an hour later it’s still not sold out, which is no doubt a record for them). Also I grabbed the Neutral Labs “Nuts” cards for the Elmyra’s distortion section. Whether those should count as the final purchase of 2024 or first of 2025 given when they’ll ship/arrive doesn’t much matter.


It is ALMOST the new year and I guess it’s time to come up with some goals.

Looking over 2024, I didn’t really commit to much, and given that I didn’t disappoint myself. As I saw someone say recently “I’m not making any resolutions, it’s time for the years to be better.”

But I do have a few things.

  • I want to get through 2025 with my head held high and my joy intact. The politics and news are likely to be one shit-tsunami after another but I’ll just keep remembering the “you have no power here” Glinda quote.
  • Once again… people are wrong on the internet but it’s not my job to fix it.
  • On gear trades/purchases:
    – I really do not need more little desktop synths, so, no more.
    – I need no more controllers, what I have now is awesome.
    – I love my Eurorack setup. If I decide Planar is redundant with Silhouette, I’ll allow myself to trade that if I think of something worthy. And there’s always the “Spectraphon Factor” (something new and too obviously awesome not to make room for). But otherwise I’d like to just leave the module selection alone.
    – The software is abundant and great. I have no objections to picking up something else small and cool, but really… I absolutely don’t need more synths, and I’m flush with effects too. Instead of thinking twice before adding anything, I’ll think three or four times. Instead of spending money on more music gear, it’s going to wardrobe updates and to some home repair stuff. Which brings me to:
  • Get the unsafe backyard deck taken care of.
  • Clean up and organize stuff a bit around the house.
  • Keep trying to get those walks in at Mallard Lake, and maybe other forms of exercise. We are looking into getting a membership somewhere to swim, for instance.

The Christmas trip went… okay.

The car rental was super smooth this time. We wound up with a Nissan Rogue, considerably smaller than the Hyundai Palisade we rented for our second honeymoon trip. That made it considerably more fuel-efficient and generally easier to drive, but it was packed quite full with 4 people, luggage and gifts, especially on the the return trip. In terms of fancy tech, the Rogue isn’t as luxury but was still more than fine, with a less obtrusive driver assistance thing, blind spot cameras, Android Auto etc. And not trying to book through Expedia but using the Enterprise site directly worked much better.

The motel sucked, there is no getting around that. The office was being renovated and they were temporarily using a laptop on a desk in a storage room surrounded by piles of random supplies and junk. They were surprised we wanted two rooms (even though I reserved them) and they weren’t adjacent, but at least one was on the first floor so my parents didn’t have to deal with stairs. The concrete treads of those stairs were literally crumbling. Nearly every piece of furniture in both rooms was damaged in some way, and that is no exaggeration. Paint was chipped off the walls in several places. The carpet, where it went up the baseboard, was really badly frayed. The bathroom door in our room was also cracked all around the door handle like someone had tried to bash it open or slammed it super hard into the wall or something, and there were cracks in the ceiling. We had throw pillows instead of proper bed pillows, and no hand towels or wash cloths for the first night/morning. In my parents’ room, the shower had no hot water and the phone didn’t work. The bed itself wasn’t awful, but still a mediocre hotel bed (we’re very used to our hybrid foam/spring mattress). The two good things we could say: it was relatively cheap, and they kept the rooms clean (if still ugly).

My mom was sick the second night, so she and dad stayed in their room for the next day. And there were heavy rains for much of the visit, threatening to flood my in-laws’ house as has happened on prior Christmases (but not quite managing to do so). My dad was having some not-so-great days in terms of memory/cognitive function and was confused about where we were a few times.

Still, I think everyone generally had a good time (when not sick), the drive was mostly fine, our hosts were gracious and I think it’s good to get my parents out of the house once in a while. They told me a couple of days later that yes, they had a good time and thanks for bringing them along. 🙂

rapping whimsically

Whimsical Raps, makers of such fine but initially mysterious things as Just Friends, Mangrove, Three Sisters and Cold Mac, has announced a new one.

It scans/mixes smoothly through six inputs using the Spot knob (an endless analog pot) to the Light output, and runs that through an analog BBD for the Shadow output. That’s the “foreground.” The Spot CV input is normalled to a “magnetic attractor” modulation source for some interesting varieties of animation.

The remaining inputs that don’t appear in the foreground become the background, and are rotated through the left/right outputs. Lens controls its level, and can sidechain the background to the foreground or expand its dynamics. Blur seems to be some kind of low-fi filtered reverb. Then you can mix the foreground into the L/R outputs, or leave them solely on the Light and Shadow outputs.

There are no feedback paths built in, but it’s made for self-patching and feedback exploration, and seems like it could be quite powerful.

The inputs are DC-coupled, so it should also be able to combine and transform modulation sources. Or reverse the sense of things and modulate Spot with an audio rate signal while the inputs are changing much more slowly.

This goes on sales Dec 30, and if it doesn’t sell out first I plan to get one. If it does, hopefully the next round of production won’t take too long — WR has been better in the last year or so at keeping their always-in-demand stuff in stock.

I’m thinking this can replace Bunker Archeology. But also, scanning/crossfading between outputs from Just Friends, Zorlon Cannon etc. is 90% of what I use my Planar for, so it could pull that out instead.

Xaoc Odessa study pre-empted

Xaoc Devices posted a video yesterday that said most of what I was going to say about Odessa. So rather than continuing to work on that, I’ll just link to it here:

Additional comments:

  1. TILT applies according to how many partials there are… changing the number of partials changes where the peak is. So with TILT high, modulating PARTIALS sounds a bit like a resonant filter sweep.
  2. I don’t have the Hel expander, but one can get certain kinds of chords/clusters by turning down PARTIALS to just a few and using TENSION.
  3. Not mentioned in the video, but trying to suppress the fundamental by mixing the fundamental output inversely with the main outs isn’t perfect because the relative levels can shift as you modulate certain parameters. Some other ways to suppress it:
    – External filtering. I usually do this in the DAW when I’m droning with Odessa.
    – Tune so the fundamental is below audio rate, turn up Harmonic Factor to multiply other partials, patch to something that is AC-coupled to filter out the inaudible fundamental.
    – Very carefully tuned comb settings can do it, but that limits your timbre possibilities even more than the above option.
  4. The best input for self-patching is, IMHO, Tension. A much more lush “supersaw” style sound than the unison detune.
  5. Another self-patch option is Bank (with Harmonic Factor not at noon). It can be reminiscent of those rough engine-like sounds from an Atari 2600.
  6. Absolutely do try running Odessa through some distortion. With a few partials, and especially with Tension, it can do some amazing things.
  7. An obvious one but sometimes overlooked: you can still use external filters, you’re not limited to Odessa’s own Comb/Partials and Tilt for shaping the spectrum. Sometimes I get something I really like with Comb settings except for one little extra bit at the high end of the spectrum, so an LPF can make that perfect.

We’re going to my parents’ Sunday for Early Christmas, then on Monday renting a car and taking them to Louisiana where my in-laws live, for an actual Christmas visit. This’ll be the most the two families have seen of each other, and I’m a bit worried they will start talking politics — they’re not in the same corner and my dad has no tact. I’m stressing about that possibility, so I think I’m going to have to say something in advance (as well as warning them about the large and bouncy dog, who we’re going to try to run interference on).

When we’re back from that trip I still have a few more days before returning to work, and will probably start in on that study of Spectraphon. Unless Make Noise wants to release some very detailed videos with a lot more technical digging than they tend to 🙂

this was 2024

Twice now I’ve written up posts with mini-reviews and how I feel about the various clothes I’m trying. But it seemed like a weird turn for a blog that’s been mostly about music stuff. I’ll try to keep it brief (even though I didn’t buy any briefs):

  • My spouse suggested I try no-pierce earrings to see what I thought. That was never something I really considered before… but I tried some magnetic ones and kinda like them. I’m willing to try more and maybe get my ears pierced.
  • All the shoes are good. The black/white Chuck hi-tops are classic; the black/purple/yellow CX EXP2 chucks are super comfy and 3/4 of a nonbinary pride flag. The Thursday Harness boots are a little dressy but I could wear them to work with black jeans, no problem. And I kind of love the Chuck 70 De Luxe heeled leather boots, the wildest thing I have — too rock-and-roll for the office or to go visit my parents, but I don’t feel too self-conscious in them. This is quite the confidence boost.
    (Do NOT listen to Converse’s advice to size down 1/2 size, I didn’t. I do wish both the hi-tops were a little wider, but every time I put on the CXs I think “these are too narrow” for about 2 minutes and then “these are amazing” when I walk in them. And I have some stretchy laces on the way to make them easier to put on, especially the boots.)
  • My “oversized” hoodie isn’t, but fits fine. The various tank tops range from amazingly comfy and perfect (tomboyx modal muscle tank) to too snug, to too low in the neck (but can be worn backwards since I’m layering it anyway). Clothes shopping online without being able to try stuff on is a bit of a challenge, but I feel lucky not to have wound up with anything that needed to be returned. Certainly the selection, ability to compare and find deals, and not feel self-conscious browsing every part of the store for inspiration are an advantage. (For contrast: Kohl’s used to have a formidable big & tall section with a ton of jeans and button-up shirts, and now it’s literally only sweatpants because they put a Sephora in that store and needed room.)

There are some nonbinary fashionistas… no, fashion captains… really rocking a genderful mix-and-match look, or fluidly and nearly flawlessly moving between masculine and feminine and stopping wherever they want on the way. And then there’s neutral androgyny, which is closer to what I’m aiming at but not really specifically my goal, either. My main thought is that I neither want to be too overt, nor covert. Just… true.

Wearing a men’s button-up shirt with men’s blue jeans and men’s Crocs is… okay I guess. It doesn’t give me dysphoric vibes, but sometimes does feel like I’m disguising myself as a man, taking the coward’s way out. If I wear that exact same shirt half-buttoned or unbuttoned over a t-shirt or tank-top, suddenly it’s right. Switching to (men’s) black jeans, cooler (men’s/unisex) shoes, maybe some (men’s/unisex) jewelry and maybe my (men’s) hat all help a bit more. None of that has much to do with gender — but as those fabulous captains say, no piece of clothing has a gender.


That was me being brief. Huh.

Okay, year in review. Stuff that happened:

  • I thought I was going to get heavily into Legos. Instead I have a bunch of Legos in nice organizer cases taking up space.
  • My parents moved to the St. Louis area and we’ve been visiting them a lot more. Taking them out to eat, going on Trader Joe’s runs, etc.
  • At work we FINALLY released our long-awaited new version, after the Air Force’s cybersecurity certification dragged on for months and I had to personally straighten out compatibility problems between third-party libraries.
  • I did more walking around Mallard Lake than in previous years. (This is a combination of weather-dependent and personal energy level.)
  • We saw the total eclipse in Perryville, MO. Utterly awe-inspiring, everyone with a heart should get to see one at least once in their lives.
  • We’ve had more deer in our yard this year than ever.
  • We finally got to go on a “real” vacation, for our 20th honeymoon. We loved Gatlinburg, we really enjoyed Myrtle Beach but we got sick.
  • She kind of accidentally got me into Heilung, and I quickly went nuts for them. I am not particularly a Norse culture buff but it’s interesting. I read the translations, and in some of the music I really felt like I was hearing the expression of the kind of love that flows both ways between people and gods, and also the goodwill of good people toward humankind in general. And that led to the urge to get back into some of my religious practices, and that led to rejoining the church where we had first met.
  • And that, plus a backlash against increasingly transphobic politics, led to my feeling more my nonbinary self and wanting to express it to be more true to myself, and thus this style reboot.
  • I released 6 albums, and I did studies in Unfiltered Audio SpecOps, a wide range of effects plugins, ALM Akemie’s Castle, Xaoc Drezno, and Rossum Morpheus.
  • I raged and cried a lot about politics and have come to this: I refuse to let it ruin my emotional life. I refuse to obey in advance. I won’t try to be the kind of fighter that I am not, but I can donate money to the right causes.
  • I started to really hate on AI.
  • I read up about ADHD and VAST, and yeah… it me. Knowing that is enough for me, I don’t really need an official diagnosis or treatment.
  • Everything Everywhere All At Once. Cicadas. DuoLingo.

And now for the musical gear part. Just the highlights:

I actually spent 4 months without changing anything in my Eurorack setup. I kind of plan to do that again in 2025, probably for longer than that, but I am not going to bother making that an official pledge or anything.

  • Auza Wave Packets, for taking a relatively vanilla oscillator but elevating it with phrasing/gesture possibilities I wouldn’t otherwise have landed on.
  • Noise Engineering Alia, giving me access to the NE oscillators that I like but don’t necessarily want to always keep. And then kind of a rug pull because I love the new Toros Iteritas Alia so much, I won’t want to switch the firmware. 🙂
  • RYK Algo replaced my beloved Shapeshifter, and it’s more on target for what I was using Shapeshifter for. All hail FM synthesis! This means I have no more “complex oscillators” in the classic sense. This is fine.
  • I had a run with Rossum Morpheus, ultimately deciding it wasn’t for me. But I returned to Make Noise QPAS, this time allowing it to shine at the things it does best, and loving it.
  • I let go of my Monome Teletype. It served me well for years, but I found myself using Bitwig Grid or VCV Rack to cover basically everything it was doing for me.
  • Neutral Labs Elmyra 2 is pretty great, making my kind of noise and being fun to play. It’s almost up there with the Strega/Minibrute combo.
  • Decadebridge Sn is a fun little FM drone synth. Probably a little redundant (especially with Toros now) but it’s an inspiring toy for sure.
  • Dawesome MYTH is practically a modular environment on its own and deserves much deeper exploration than I’ve given it so far.
  • Madrona Sumu landed at about the same time. It’s mostly found a role as an occasional drone synth for me, but that might be greatly expanded once it finally gets MPE support.
  • I went for Arturia V Collection finally, thanks to a stacked discount. This gives me a crapton more software synths to play with. I tried most of them and have a few installed.
  • In the effects world there were a few fun ones, but what stands out is Toneboosters Equalizer Pro. The “ambience” setting especially makes it not just an equalizer, and the dynamics work better for me than any other tools I’ve tried. So I’m doing all kinds of tone shaping with it.
  • I got the three Nektar expression pedals and MIDI Expression Quatro to convert them to USB Midi, and that has been wonderful.
  • I also switched from Roli Seaboard to a Linnstrument 128 and have found my bliss.

like an onion

These just got announced: Noise Engineering Ampla Legio (a multimode filter/gate with envelope), Fala Versio (formant filter with folding & distortion), and Toros Iteritas Alia (FM oscillator with unique algorithms and control, especially great for drones). I had the pleasure of beta testing them and I have to say, Toros quickly became my favorite Noise Engineering oscillator of all time. I like it so much that it threatens the flexible status of my Alia, so at some point I may have to grab another one for Manis and Cursus and the other things. This is how they getcha…

Toros and Fala are the redacted modules that I used on Arranged Coincidences (I have made a note to update my notes).


I’ve started working on a study of Xaoc Odessa. It’s designed to make additive synthesis simpler to work with, and it succeeds at that admirably. The manual explains the theory well, too. So I’m just going to concentrate on a few observations and tricks, and combining it with other modules. It’ll probably be a pretty short article.

The one for Spectraphon will be much more involved — possibly more so than the Shapeshifter or Synchrodyne studies were. (What is it with modules that begin with S?) Make Noise manuals are generally quite good, but I have a bit more of an explanation of how it works technically. SAM and SAO modes are pretty complicated, and array creation for SAO is itself kind of an art (which I need to study again). Chaos and Noise modes are simpler but there’s still a bit to say about those too.


The quest for better personal nonbinary expression is going well so far — it’s already brought me some confidence and happiness and a little bit of gender euphoria. And so far it’s simply come from a little research into style and raiding my own closet. Everything I’ve been wearing comes from the mens’ aisle — I’ve just been more thoughtful and deliberate and slightly educated with it. For instance, I’ve discovered layering. (I like my loose/oversized button-up shirts — putting one either unbuttoned or half-buttoned over a t-shirt or tank changes everything.) I’ve been dressing at home just about like I’d dress to go out, which makes me feel less slobby and is good practice. Means doing more laundry, but okay.

I do have a few new things on the way — some staples to cover basic wardrobe gaps, but also slightly funky boots (mens’ but could lean either way), seriously funky boots (theoretically unisex, definitely an experiment), a couple of shirts designed for nonbinary people (masculine cut but slightly more feminine in colors/pattern), even some leggings (experimental; if they are terrible for my body type they can probably go under jeans on cold days). Some of my old clothes in good condition, and the boots if they are just too much, will get donated to a local trans charity.

There’s also a couple pieces of sort of subtle nonbinary pride jewelry on the way from Etsy stores, and a pair of small magnetic clip-on earrings (another experiment, I’m really uncertain but curious).

Perhaps my confidence will build over time and I’ll get more adventurous, perhaps not. But this is already a win, especially compared to my much more awkward efforts years ago.

a lot

I’ve done a lot of shopping lately, and it’s not for music gear! Christmas gifts of course. The new phones, and necessary accessories, and a couple of apps. Clothes and jewelry and stuff because I want to step up my nonbinary presentation a bit (and this part is where I’m not quite finished with the shopping…)

One more minor complaint about the Pixel 8a: it is very slippery. The back of mine (in white) almost looks like a squishy silicone rubber, but there’s Gorilla Glass. It might as well be coated in olive oil. I don’t quite feel like it’s going to slip out of my hand, but both of our phones have spontaneously slid off of what seemed like perfectly stable and level furniture. We were going to get protective cases anyway, but we both put the ones we wanted on our Christmas lists rather than immediately ordering them.

My Lego brick fix for the phone charger was an abject failure. It didn’t stick very well using the double-sided 3M squares, and wasn’t really wide enough to be secure. And also in that position the charging was intermittent. I took off from a stop, the phone tumbled out and the Lego wound up… somewhere in my car. The new charger should arrive Saturday; hopefully I won’t need GPS before then.

I decided on Square Home for my launcher. At least with the premium features enabled (there’s a 14-day trial that begins automatically; $1.99 a year or $5.99 permanent license), it’s very customizable in terms of layout and colors/theming, and I think it looks quite sharp.

The layout that I’ve set up puts everything I wanted on a single screen. (You don’t have to, and you can in fact set it to scroll through pages in an endless loop.) Most of the disunity in this layout is due to limitations of the widgets I’m using. I might also look for a more complimentary icon set rather than circular bubbles on square buttons. I’m sure I’ll keep tweaking things over time.


I was going to start this part by saying that most of my life I haven’t really paid attention to fashion or felt like I had much of a personal style. But now I recall this isn’t entirely true — there was a phase in high school and college where I wore short-sleeve button-down shirts and even funky ties sometimes, when I didn’t have to. Still, most of my adult life I just defaulted to t-shirts (generally geeky ones) and jeans (or sweatpants when I worked night shifts and had low self-esteem particularly about my own appearance).

When I started coming to terms with being nonbinary, I wanted to try to match my gender expression to my identity a little better. And that meant thinking about fashion, as well as quickly recognizing the difficulties in nonbinary gender expression.

(Briefly: society really only recognizes masculine vs. feminine, and this language is used even in nonbinary and gender nonconforming circles when referencing appearance. “Androgyny” can be somewhere in between, but to what extent and how that works is dependent on social context and your own mostly unalterable physical appearance. “Unisex” in clothes is almost synonymous with “men’s” although it says nothing about gender when an AMAB person wears it. There is not really anything that reads as off-axis from a masc/fem spectrum unless it’s so weird it only reads as weird.)

And also at that time, the LGBTQ+ community was still very much getting its shit together about trans and nonbinary issues (and how they interact). The stereotypical “Thing1 trapped in Thing2’s body” trans narrative was a blunt instrument and it didn’t fit everybody, and it took a while to recognize that other narratives about both identity and dysphoria were not threats to trans validity.

But in 2024, while the transphobes are certainly more active than ever, and by the way, fuck those people… some of the ducks have aligned within the community. There are places where you can ask for nonbinary fashion tips and share looks. There are designers and retailers catering to nonbinary and gender-nonconforming people in various ways; some of them radical, some of them much more subtle and everyday.

So, I’m in that process of working stuff out and feel a bit more hopeful about it this time around. Looking over advice, going through the clothes I have but set aside to cull them and gather notes about fit and put some thoughts together, doing a little scouting and shopping, ordering some jewelry. Apparently, today I accidentally threw together a decent outfit that looked intentional just for working from home. That felt good to hear.

I can tell because of the pixels

Our phones were 5 years old, battery life wasn’t looking too hot anymore, my spouse needed a new phone wallet anyway, and I was thinking… if the Orange Menace manages to slap arbitrary tariffs onto stuff phones could get a LOT more expensive a few months from now. And it was Black Friday.

So we got new phones. After a little review reading I chose Google Pixel 8a — not the newest, not the shiniest, but almost half the (discounted) price of the latest shiny things from Samsung, and reportedly outperforms its own price range. And not so AI-centric. And a similar size to what we had, though of course not identical because it would be a real shame if any phone case managed to work for more than one model and version of phone 😛

Setting up a new phone is a pain in the ass. You can tell they tried to make it better, with the ability to automatically transfer apps and data wirelessly from your old phone. And activating new unlocked phones on Credo Mobile wasn’t too hard, it’s just that… they tell you to call customer service, which means waiting on hold for a fair amount of time, confirming a lot of information, and then they tell you all you need to do is move the SIM card. So mostly, it’s poking the “retry” button several times while your phone gives you a vague error message, because you’re not getting a good enough cell signal, and waiting through several different progress bars.

All the preferences stuff, though. Between a 5-year-old Samsung with an older Android version, and Google’s official phone with the it-was-current-six-weeks-ago Android version, there are lot of little, annoying interface tweaks. These are the ones that bug me the most:

  • The top row of the main page on the home screen/launcher always shows the date. You can’t turn that off anywhere (you can turn off the weather info line). You can’t use that space for widgets, it’s just dedicated to telling you what day it is. I preferred my old weather widget, but it’s basically been made forcibly redundant.
  • At the bottom of EVERY page on the launcher, there’s a Google search bar that cannot be hidden. This is not the primary way I want to use my phone or search, guys. It’s wasted space.
  • The 4×4 Media Monkey widget actually takes 4×5 spaces for some reason. Combine that with the search bar and you just can’t fit anything else on a page. On my old phone, I could use that widget and two rows of icons…
  • Some of the customization that I liked on my old phone turned out to be Samsung-specific. I had a particular always-on screen setting I liked. I want my wallpaper to center on the screen and sit still when I change pages, not fit to some virtual space wider than the screen and then scroll, so things aren’t centered anymore.
  • Maybe this is a Pixel-specific thing, but for some reason, the default action of the power button was to bring up Google Assistant. Yuck. It can be changed but it shouldn’t have had to be changed.
  • This is definitely specific to the Pixel, but the volume buttons are about halfway down the side (instead of closer to the top as they have been on every other phone I’ve had). The wireless phone charger in my car clamps down on the Volume Down button. I have a new charger on the way but until it arrives, I’m going to “fix” it with a Lego brick. (Giving “bricking one’s phone” a whole new meaning…)

OK, other than that… the screen is nice, the sound is better than on the old phone, and it seems generally zippy (it boots much more quickly than my old phone and some apps seem to load faster). Its battery life also seems to be far less troubled by the coloring book app I like to fidget with.

I may look into alternate launchers. I installed Nova, then changed my mind. The main irritation to me is that wasted space, but I have set up a layout that works okayish.

I lost QuickPic because it was pulled off the app store years ago. Simple Gallery replaces it just fine.

Media Monkey just did not want to deal properly with album art, and combined with the messed-up widget and some generally fiddly stuff about it, I decided to look at alternatives. Musicolet, which is completely free, is what I’ve got on there right now. It seems to mostly be straightforward, and aside from a couple of minor quirks, pretty configurable. The navigation might be a bit of an adjustment but it might be what I stick with.